the Fuzzie Squirrel

my name is kamarr and this is the story of how i have come to be where i am. a retrospective, introspective and prospective journal, it may be difficult at times to know when i'm coming from but ultimately that is irrelevant. what matters? simple. i am me, and as such i am also you; so come explore us together.
Ask me anything

Tumblr theme by ahhfred

April 20th, 2013
i’m supposed to be working on a final paper right now, but as i was diggin through the internet looking for references and more info to flesh out the essay, i came across an article about the histroy of killer smog in NYC and saw this picture. here we have men and women, dressed far nicer than we do today i may add, but that’s besides the point… no my point is just look at that. here they stand, above the wolrd as it were, looking down into a smog filled abyss of a city. the people below could see, and to be honest, probably didn’t have much of a clue about just how bad it really was for them. yeah, the breathing was labored, and everyone got sick easy, but they had little idea of how bad it was, that is, until they got a different perspective. well, that’s our life. i was sitting here working on my essay getting depressed as my subconcious flitted across the memories of former classmates who are now busy at work finishing their residencies while i still sit working odd jobs and scraping by. but then God lifted my mind to a higher view. “look at this,” He said; “look at you family, your world, your life. how good is it really for any of you? so trust My view, trust My plan, trust My love.” when we get to the other side, we’ll be surprised to see how thick and dark the air really was while we were walking around down here all those years. but a clearer day is coming; and while i am still down here, living in the smog, i look forward to living every day following His elegant and perfect plan. Selah!

i’m supposed to be working on a final paper right now, but as i was diggin through the internet looking for references and more info to flesh out the essay, i came across an article about the histroy of killer smog in NYC and saw this picture. here we have men and women, dressed far nicer than we do today i may add, but that’s besides the point… no my point is just look at that. here they stand, above the wolrd as it were, looking down into a smog filled abyss of a city. the people below could see, and to be honest, probably didn’t have much of a clue about just how bad it really was for them. yeah, the breathing was labored, and everyone got sick easy, but they had little idea of how bad it was, that is, until they got a different perspective. well, that’s our life. i was sitting here working on my essay getting depressed as my subconcious flitted across the memories of former classmates who are now busy at work finishing their residencies while i still sit working odd jobs and scraping by. but then God lifted my mind to a higher view. “look at this,” He said; “look at you family, your world, your life. how good is it really for any of you? so trust My view, trust My plan, trust My love.” when we get to the other side, we’ll be surprised to see how thick and dark the air really was while we were walking around down here all those years. but a clearer day is coming; and while i am still down here, living in the smog, i look forward to living every day following His elegant and perfect plan. Selah!

April 26th, 2012

a brief note

i have been taken to longer posts recently, but i do not have time for that right now. despite that lack of time, i am sincerely trying to exert more discipline within my literary (not to mention spiritual) life. discipline; that one word conjures up an immense amount of emotions in myself. i wrote a few pages the other day on my lack of it and need for it. growing up, disciplined is probably one of the words most would have used to describe me. i did all sorts of activities, did my homework, brought home great grades, went to school every day, did my chores, didn’t talk back; i was a disciplined child in the sense that my parents would correct me when i was wrong and i would behave in an orderly and predictable manner. but that was the discipline of my parents placed upon me during my tenure in their home; that was not me. when i went off to college some of their discipline went with me, though it did not take long for me to deteriorate into my natural, lazy, un0disciplined state. to make a long story short, over the past 5 years i have been on a slow, arduous journey of remembering the forgotten lessons of my youth, the lessons of discipline and diligence. discipline is a dispense-less resource for an adult to have, especially one who prides himself on intellect and reasoning. so bear with me as i continue to seek a disciplined path for myself; one of daily devotions and reflections, constant prayer and study, marked with stewardship and love. i need to be ready to receive the blessing of the Lord, and i will get back to the state of readiness, a state i was in when He graciously introduced me to my wife (tomorrow is our 11 year dating anniversary!!!), and i state i need to be in if He is to use me for that which He made me.

February 29th, 2012
marriage promises a lifetime of two people striving together for maturity
chuck swindoll. i thank God for my helpmeet who bears with me as i bear with her in the journey of becoming more like Christ. m
August 13th, 2011

life happens, and i get side tracked. the rest of the stories from 10 tales of K will be posted in the future; but i’m on my wife’s netbook right now so i don’t have them easily accessible (yeah, they’re in google docs but that’s too tough). instead, i’m going to use the next few minutes to schedule some of the things i’ve been writing in my new travel journal that i call Uncle Sonny’s Bank Book (it’s actually the old wells fargo ledger from my uncle that passed away from lung cancer earlier this year, i carry it in my shirt pocket and write what comes to mind). please enjoy these samples of my thoughts and feel free to comment. as always, selah!